“Tell Me Lies, Sweet Little Lies”
Now this might not be the proper forum for this conversation, and it might feel a little like a counseling session where I just vent, but I believe there is a teaching moment in what I am about to write. Now besides being a member of the True North team, I am also a Culinary Arts instructor at a comprehensive high school. In both of my roles part of my job is to give insight on ways to to exceed expectations, to achieve a greater outcome.
Which simply means, when someone asks me a question like “What do you think”, I give them my opinion. And as I mentioned in a previous post, I DON’T LIE. Now that does not mean I don’t sugar coat it, or take into consideration all the time and effort that went into making the final product, as well as the level of expertise, but if you ask me a question, please be prepared for the response.
As I see it, feedback, critique or whatever you want to call it is meant to help the recipient move closer to reaching their goals. If done right it is a powerful conversation, with purposeful dialog, a harmony of ideas.
Yeah a dialog, you know that lost art of where two people express their point of views. Taking turns speaking, and more importantly listening to each other, to come to a conclusion. A place where opposing views can come to a mutual agreement, a place where a statement isn’t meant to be a dagger in the heart, but more of a light peaking through the darkness. Okay that may be a little much, but you get my point.
As part of this dialog the person receiving the critique has a chance to share their perspective of the situation, share their thinking of how they came to that point, and share what obstacles were in their way. Without that exchange, there is no feedback, there is no room for growth, there is only one opinion, one side of the story.
So where is this all going?
Well maybe I am just getting old, maybe I am losing touch with this “New Generation”, but it seems to me that any form of feedback nowadays, is taken out of context and is interpreted as an insult. As if anything that is said that is not of the highest praise is a defamation of one’s character.
When did holding back your opinion to make someone feel better, ever produce a positive result?
As in life, cooking is filled with grey areas. There is no such thing as a clear cut perfect example, there is always room for improvement. Maybe it is as simple as a squeeze of lime, or maybe it needs a complete overhaul. Whatever needs to be done is irrelevant, what is relevant is that we need to work to be better, and the easiest way to get better is through feedback.
We need to realize that every great achievement had some setbacks, and during those less than stellar moments, changes were made. But only after deep reflection. Reflection, I like that, maybe if we change the idea of feedback to a group reflection. Sounds a little warmer, inviting even. Kind of makes me want to open up, and maybe even be receptive to another' s opinion.
No matter what we call it; feedback, critique or reflection they are all vital parts of growth. One that we can not overlook, if we want to grow whether it is professionally or personally. So the next time you feel stuck look towards that person that will tell you like it is and move forward.
On a side note, I would love some feedback. Please tell me what you think about this topic or any of the previous posts. All I ask is that you don’t tell me lies.
